Menopause

You Are The Powerhouse of One…

Do you remember what it was like being a kid on the first day of school?

Do you remember that feeling of being totally alone?

Well, I think those days are a practise run for life!

Say what?

Well, what I mean is that, when all is said and done, we’re on our own.

Of course, we’re never truly alone, because God is with us. He made us, he knows us through and through.

But, we’re physically alone many times in our lives and it’s this feeling that I’m referring to.

You see, I believe that it’s not until we’ve experienced true loneliness that we experience true friendship with ourselves, the true perspective of who we are.

It’s those moments of realisation that you’re totally alone – it could be in a decision-making process, it could be when you find yourself sitting on a beach, or in a dentist chair.

Sooner or later, though, the realisation that we are on our own will strike, so you might as well get ready for it. Because all the friends and partners under the sun won’t change that fact.

You and I are on our own.

That’s why it’s so important to get to know the real you – the person you can depend on in a crisis when there’s no-one else around to turn to.

When there’s no-one else around to turn to, to talk to, we get to know what we’re really made of, we get to know who we truly are.

Have you ever noticed how we can hold it together better when we’re on our own than we can when our partner or friend is around us?

Why is that? Is it because we don’t have to be strong around them or is it because we show our insecurities in the knowledge that they love us anyway.

Let me explain what I mean…being now a senior citizen (truly…me, a senior citizen?) I struggle from time to time (who am I kidding – OK, all the time) with technology.

“COME ON!!!” I can be heard saying to my computer on a very regular basis. In fact, it’s my dream that one day I will have someone to do all the technological stuff and just let me write!

So, I struggle with technology but do you know what happens when my lovely husband Bob (who’s very clever at this) is not here – I try to figure it out by myself and between me and Mr Google I don’t do too badly at all.

But…if Bob or my daughter Nicky is around…I’ll find myself huffing and puffing and throwing the odd bit of paper around, signalling that I’m losing it – AGAIN – with this crazy computer!

Of course, then someone will come to my rescue. I don’t think I’m consciously being manipulative. In fact, I didn’t truly realise until now the mechanics of this. Another great reason to write.

Perhaps we’re stronger as one than we are as a couple or as part of a team?

Perhaps the strength of a team comes from people who have experienced the powerhouse of one?

Hmmm, it’s amazing the things we ponder, isn’t it? Like what really goes on inside this computer?

I can’t hear mechanical sounds, apart from the odd fan sound, and if I open it up and just see a board with chips on it (chicken salt or plain?) my brain says but where are the working parts…?!

You see, I grew up in the days of manual typewriters and I could see how they worked – you pushed down on the keyboard and a letter on the end of a piece of metal called the arm would flip up and hit the band of ink ribbon which would then leave an imprint on my piece of paper rolled around the platen.

So, I could see what was going on – in fact, I could fix typewriters in those days, I kid you not!

We had this wonderful old manual typewriter at home when I was just starting secondary school.

I was doing a ‘Commercial’ course which meant typing was part of the curriculum, as was shorthand (I can still do pretty much the same speeds) and commercial practice. Then the course focused on science (very helpful in an office) as well as English, but no math. I’ve often wondered about why math was not included as part of the curriculum. Must’ve thought the commercial gals were thick! We didn’t mingle with the girls from the other classes – they were the ‘Professional’ and ‘General’ classes and we were considered the lower class – literally.

We had to sit away from them at lunch time and not even within earshot of their conversations! I remember one day wanting to wipe that smug, posh look off the faces of one particular group of girls and ended up doing a cartwheel, flashing my bright red winter warmers (a pair of warm pants that you wore over your pants and stockings) for all the world to see!

Those little tarts got me back though and reported me to the head nun so there was a bit of explaining to do when I got home late after detention, ie washing the windows of the classrooms. I blamed the traffic.

Not a bad excuse as I used to bike 5 miles to and from school every day. And, wouldn’t you know it, that blasted wind in my home town would always be a head wind biking to school and then in the afternoon that smart-arse wind would change direction and I would have a head wind home. I can count on one hand the number of times I had a back wind home – it was like winning the lotto as I sailed along on my bike feeling on top of the world.

So the posh professional girls kept pretty much to themselves. I wonder what it would be like today with social media being the real leveller, maybe the days of discrimination between students, based on what they study, is worse.

I got the last laugh though as I left school and got a job straight away and most of the professional and general girls ended up going to Polytech to learn…wait for it…typing!

Life is funny sometimes and the day the agency rang me to say I was successful in my application I stood in front of the mirror and felt my powerhouse of one.

My Mum was responsible for me doing a commercial course as all my older sisters had done other courses at school and ended up working in offices anyway, so she figured I may as well hit the mark from day one. She was right – thanks Mum.

So, being a commercial student I was learning to type and I decided to write a book during my school holidays.

I spent most of my time writing my book all about the Solomon Islands. Day after day, sheet of paper after sheet of paper, typing away. It was great practise for my course.

It was also exciting to be writing a book and incredibly frustrating as the old manual typewriter had several arms that kept getting stuck.

Of course, my brothers thought I was being a goody two shoes for spending my time locked away in our special lounge room (that no-one ever used, apart from piano practise).

But, I think what I was doing was enjoying writing, plus I did all the illustrations – just don’t look too closely!

I remember the teacher at school holding my A5 book in her hands, looking at me with a puzzled expression…”You did this over your holidays?”

Now I come to think of it, I don’t know why I spent all that time writing a book that wasn’t really necessary. Perhaps it was me browsing through the set of encyclopaedias we had or visiting the local library. I have some recollection that maybe I was thinking of teaching as a career and thought that learning all about an island somewhere in the Pacific might come in handy.

Who knows…but I do remember the feeling of satisfaction of completing my book.

That was the powerhouse of one.

So how about you?

Do you see yourself as your own powerhouse of one?

Do you have experiences in your life when you did something that displayed your powerhouse genius?

Were you sailing high above the earth in your metaphorical hot air balloon – or did you actually fly high above the earth in a real hot air balloon?

Did you accomplish that goal or that aim that the younger you had planned way back when?

Did you do that one thing that you believe you were born to do?

I hope so – if not, it’s not too late to tap into that desire and gift.

My thing was music and now that Bob and I have produced a couple of music albums, I’m quite happy – thank you for asking!

I was never much good at sport or crafts, but sit me in front of the piano or place a guitar in my hands and I truly did become the powerhouse of one.

Of course, when Bob picks up the guitar his own powerhouse of one joins with me and together I think we create some rather special praise and worship music.

Can’t take all the credit – thanks, Holy Spirit.

Anyway, I’ve rambled on enough today – so will leave you with this challenge.

Are you your own powerhouse of one?

Are you content to spend time with just you or do you need others around you to complete you?

You don’t by the way – you are your own powerhouse and maybe you haven’t discovered that yet.

Maybe you depend on others for your security, your self-worth, your need for their approval.

Whatever your current circumstances are, just know this…you have the power to change them.

You are an awesome individual with amazing gifts.

You have a brain that is greater than all the computers in the world put together.

Even with this crazy world and all the toxic aspects of it, you can make a massive difference.

So, my powerhouse of one is going to keep going, even when I don’t feel like it.

I’m going to keep sharing what I’ve discovered through menopause – and that is that I am a powerhouse of one.

And so are you – even if you don’t feel like it.

So, if I can make a difference in this world by sharing what I’ve discovered in restoring my own health, you can make a difference in this world by sharing your discoveries and gifts too.

Is it easy?

No – but I keep hearing that saying that if it was easy then everybody would be doing it.

Yeah, yeah.

Doesn’t make it any easier, though.

Hmm, this powerhouse of one better go and make dinner.